MAY 2, 2014
"Okay, Lord, I can't do it anymore." Silence. "Lord, I am done! I get it. Please, make it stop now!" "I love you, and don't want you to hurt." "Great. So stop it now." "I don't want you to feel this way, but I have work to do." "But I am miserable. My heart is broken and I can't see straight through the tears all day and all night. How can you let me feel like this?" "You can't see it, but if you stopped now, you'd miss so much. There is more to be done, and it is worth the wait. I promise." "Promise? I am not seeing any of your promises filled right now. I feel alone. I feel hopeless." "I know. And I know how much you can handle. And you are doing it. You are handling it. Even if it doesn't feel good or you feel alone. You aren't alone and you are still praying. You haven't given up. You may feel like you have, but you are still fighting. And I will continue to be with you and hold your fists for you. It's through MY strength that you are still here talking to me. I won't let you break. I need you to keep going...just a little longer." "But I am so weary. I want to quit." "You won't though. I know you, and I know what lies ahead. Trust me. I won't leave you or forsake you. You will not quit before I am done. I love you. I only want what's best for you." "And this is it?" "Yes." "Will you stay with me through it?" "Of course." "Please don't let me go." "Never. You are mine, and I am yours. A little longer. Just wait." "I trust You." "I know. I wouldn't expect so much if I didn't know that." "Just a little longer. Please. Hurry."
I emoted this dialogue to understand more clearly who I was in the struggle, and what God was saying to me. The valley was a time of tug-o-war with my emotions and my will. Join me on Thursday as I share what has changed, what hasn't, and how even life STILL with an unbelieving spouse has become worth the wait.